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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Johnny Gold: Johnny, Bravo!

Week 1, Day 1 - Sunday Afternoon

Johnny: "Look at the rack on that brunette babe...I wouldn't mind taking that one home to Suntan. She's even checking me out. Here baby, lemme flex for ya."

Don't do that. She's thinking of babies.

Johnny: "Frack, it's always the hot chicks that are baby crazy."

Johnny: "Hey there delicate, mind if I take this seat?"

Linda: *huff puff* "Um, I guess not." *wheezes*

Johnny: "That's some sexy asthma you got there, delicate. I'm used to girls with a little more meat on their bones, but I could get use to ya."

Linda: "Thanks, but I'm really not interested."

Johnny: "Suit yourself, girl. I'll just pump up my pecs."

Johnny: *grunts* "Um...delicate? Can you spot me?" *wheezes*

Linda: "You're pathetic."

Johnny: "Hey sweetheart, where you goin'? You wanna grab some hot dogs at the burger joint?"

Linda: "You do realize I'm fifteen, right?"

Johnny: "...Oh. Oh. Alright then. So uh, is your mom here?"


Week 1, Day 1 - Sunday Evening

Johnny: "Hey girl, I found your daughter for ya. Don't worry, I don't demand payment; just some nekkid pics."

Stella: "She's been on that treadmill for thirty minutes, scum! She was never lost. And excuse you, but I have a husband!"

Johnny: "He doesn't have to know."

Johnny: "Hey baby, wanna go dancing at the Martini's Club with me? They've got a fireman's pole with a disco ball on it, and you seem like you can bust a move..."

Katy: "What the hell?! I just saw you flirting with that woman over there, dumbass! Plus, I have a boyfriend.

Johnny: "Oh you do, huh? How strong is he?"

Katy: "Why don't you go ask him yourself."

Ryan: "Hey man, I was just enjoying the beautiful vistas, and now I hear you're trying to get with my girlfriend. What gives?"

Katy: "Yeah, tell him off baby!"

Blue Shirt Guy: "Breathe through your nose, breathe through your nose..."

Johnny: "What's up with me? Dude, you should be keeping your eye on your girl 'cause she was all over me and I'm not man enough to resist such sexy. HA, your boyfriends so stupid! He's not even that big. I could take 'em."

Katy: "Baby, maybe we should leave now."

Linda: *facepalm* "Mother, I'm tired. Can we go now?"

Stella: "Wait a minute, this is getting good..."

Johnny: "Plus, you're wearing my fracking chin strap. I had that trademarked as soon as my first facial hairs started coming in. I can sue you, bro."

Ryan: *eye twitch*

Katy: "Ryan, kick his ass!"

Stella: "Okay, now we can go. Quickly, before the cops are called."

Johnny: "Run after your girl now, handsome. I've got iron to pump."

Ryan: ...

Blue Shirt Guy: "Whew, that was a workout!"

Johnny: "Why haven't you left yet, Ryan? Big man got somethin' to say?"

Ryan: "You don't know me, son. I will kill you in your sleep." *evil grin*

*dead silence*

BSG: "Whoa...did I miss something?!"

BSG: "I sense the Creator's presence somewhere in this gym..."

Johnny: "Shut up and spot me, bro!"


  1. I can see Johnny is going to be lots of fun for the creator. Even if the regular townies are less than impressed.

    what a scumbag. :)

  2. Ahh, Johnny is indeed a scumbag. I wouldn't have him any other way. :D

  3. Omg, haha. He really IS a douchebag. JAILBAIT, Johnny. JAILBAIT.

    I love BSG. I demand a spinoff.

  4. BSG is gaining a lot of fans! XD I hereby promise a BSG spinoff (or at least miniseries) soon as I figure out his name.

  5. Johnny seems like a trouble maker. Guess he is only going to get up to no good and make live hell for others. LOL
    I wonder though if is back up what he says, you know all the tough talk, is he able to to throw a punch in the end or is it all for show? ;)

  6. Oh My Johnny!
    He is so charming <3 I can't imagine why the ladies aren't falling all over him XD
    Ah yes and I agree whole hardheartedly, more BSG!

  7. PiB - Do you know his last name? I tried looking for him in a sports bar last night, but I didn't find him. :(

    Jen - We'll never know, but if he can't handle a weight machine then a buff angry boyfriend would prove to be difficult. ;)

    Meme - "Charming"...what an interesting word you would use to describe him. XD