Angie - "Ugh, finally you arrive! How long has it been? Sim months? Sim years? What an unreliable camera crew, following that stupid Six Temperatures or whatever..."
This is not your pushover camera crew. This is your Creator. Hello, Angie dearest. Long time no see. ;)
Angie - "...holy [bleep]. Cheezy! Um...I wasn't expecting you? I mean, it's Christmas in your world! Aren't you supposed to be bonding with family and whatnot?"
Actually, it'll be the day after Christmas when I upload this. And someone's been a bad sim.
Angie - "Beau?"
Angie - "Jacob?"
Angie - "...me?"
Bingo. Case in point, you promised me you wouldn't go club-hopping anymore. Especially not at seedy places like Plasma 501! For Plumbbob's sake, Angie...
Angie - "This is different, this is just a publicity stunt! I just order one drink and I get 1k in simoleans. And I'm moonlighting for a bit. But that's all, I swear!"
Blah blah blah. You're getting coals.
I see you're still in your Thanksgiving dress.
Angie - "Shush, I'm working. Why hello, Tom Wordy. May I get you anything to drink?" *wink*
So this is how you earn tips, by wearing tight corset dresses and flirting. Wow. You're right, mixology is tough work.
Angie - "MIXOLOGY IS SRS BSNS, KTHXBYE."
Ach, cut it out with the text speak! You know how much it bugs me.
Angie - "Oh, do I now?"
*bartender looks around nervously*
Yeah, I'm talking to you. It's the Creator. Have you been stealing any plasma or biting any sims as of late? You know there's a special place with the Reaper for sims who commit such heinous acts...
*bartender bites nails*
LOL, it's okay, I'm not actually your Creator. That's EA. You take it up with them, mmkay?
Angie - "...so then I was like 'Get out of my screen and let me do my job, Plumbbob!' and she totally backed off."
Beau - "mmmhmmm."
Angie - "Ooh, Beau! Look at my pedi! Isn't it nice?"
Beau - "mmmmhmmm."
Angie - "Beeeaaauuu, you're not even loookiiinggg!!!"
Beau - "mmmhmmm."
Angie - "...Beau?"
Beau - "mmmmhmmm?"
Angie - "I'm leaving you and taking the kids with me."
Beau - "mmmhmmm. That is so interesting, sweetheart. Let's cuddle."
Angie - "Creator!!"
Angie - "Make him listen to me!"
Angie - "Ugh, this is SO unfair."
Thame - "Creator!!"
Just the sim I wanted to see. So, how's life, school, family, etc? :)
Thame - "Pretty good. I just aged into my teens. My grades were awesome, and my mom is proud. Jacob's still skipping school, which is a shame because he's so smart. Now he has these delusions in his head that one day he'll be an International Super Spy or something."
I see. Well, let the lad dream. Who knows, maybe one day he will be!
Thame - "Pfft, not with those grades."
...please tell me you are not doing that in Thame's bed.
Angie - "I don't see what the big deal is, she hardly ever sleeps in it."
You. are. woohooing. in. your. daughter's. bed. The place where she sleeps. There are so many things wrong with that. Even the teddy bear beside the bed is averting its eyes. What's wrong with your guys' bed?
Beau - "We just needed some variety. Now shoo."
Fine, fine...I can see where I'm not wanted...can you guys just make sure to make up the bed or something afterward?
What's this? Is Angie actually paying attention to one of her kids?
Angie - "Yeah yeah, enjoy it while you can. I've got a commercial to shoot in an hour."
So, I know who this little bugger is, but why don't you introduce her to everyone else?
Angie - "Her name is Kristina, she's my little angel. She actually has my mom's hair color! Can you believe it?"
Truth be told, I cannot. I thought this
plasma bloodline was doomed to blondes and redheads.
Angie - "Hey, there's nothing wrong with blondes and redheads!"
There is absolutely nothing wrong with redheads.
Angie - "Urrgh, you are so frustrating. If you were a sim instead of human I would have killed you by now."
Kristina certainly resembles her daddy...not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing at this point. *crosses fingers*
Angie - "Pfft, my babies will be beautiful. Just look at Thame!"
Thame was a lucky break in a crapshoot. You're pretty, Beau's handsome, but the two of you have pretty extreme features. Which means, your children have a greater chance of being "interesting" than they do "stunning". Just look at Jacob.
Angie - "That chick Marina was beaten by the ugly stick anyway, so I'd say that Jacob got lucky."
If you saaayyy soooo...
You are officially one of my favorite sims ever.
Thame - "Wow, thanks! What did I do to receive this honor, might I ask?"
So far, you are the youngest sim that has accomplished their LTW without cheats. Renaissance sim, congrats!
Thame - "Well I'm a vampire and a genius, so isn't that technically cheating?"
Hahaha NO. This counts, damnit.
Thame - "....ooookaaay."
Am I interrupting something?
Angie - "A better question would be, when are you not interrupting something? Anyway, I was just showing Beau my new club dance moves. Pretty sweet, eh?"
Pretty sweet, admittedly. Where'd you learn them?
Angie - "....."
Angie - "I learned it at The Grind, okay?!"
A rave?! How many times have we been over this? You're a mom now, you can't go partying 'till dawn while drinking
illegal strange concoctions anymore!
Angie - "It was just for publicity, I swear! All I had to do was dance for three hours."
mmmhmmm. Anyway, I see that you redecorated the living room. Mind if I show the readers?
Angie - "Not at all. In fact, if you left the camera crew here, they would have done that already. Slacker."
It's very nice.
Angie - "Isn't it? I designed it myself. I mixed in Beau's favorite color with my favorite color. This living room represents our relationship."
That would be so sweet, except there's way more purple than black. It makes it seem as if your relationship is unbalanced.
Angie - "Yeah, I know. It's called an accurate representation."
She stared at her canvas for what seemed like hours, trying to come up with something to paint. All she could see in the blank canvas was the life she wanted to live. A life that was...normal. She didn't choose to be this way. She was born this way. A mutant. A freak. And her parents certainly didn't help the matter. Every night she would wish upon the stars-
Thame - "Would you shut up?! You're breaking my concentration."
Well, sorry ma'am. That's the last time I try to give you a dramatic narrative.
Thame - "Good, 'cause that one was awful."
Shh! I was improvising.
I see you brought the hubby with you.
Angie - "Yeah I figured I might as well, maybe then you'd give me less grief about going. Again, it's JUST for the publicity. My agent seems to like this bar for some reason."
Actually, I've been thinking about it, and I've come to the conclusion that nothing will change you, not even motherhood. So I'm letting it go. Feel free to be your evil vampire lush self.
Angie - "...yaaay?"
Yaaay. Oh, and keep an eye on Beau.
Angie - "Beau? Oh, he'd never cheat on me. I have him whipped."
It's not cheating that I'm concerned about...
Angie - "WOOOO -hic-"
Beau - "Holy sh-"
Angie - "I KNOW RIGHT?"
....okay, that's enough for you two. Go home. Now.
...So this is what you do all day when you skip school?
Jacob - "Yup!"
...that looks really cool. :( I mean- no, bad sim! Education first! Virtual reality goggles later.
Jacob - "A little too late for that, I turn into a young adult in two days."
Kristina...all-grown-up...*headdesk headdesk HEADDESK* Now, don't get me wrong, I have no problem with "interesting" sims. I love Jacob, with his weirdness and creepiness and all. But Kristina? She's not even interesting. The one and only interesting thing is the exposed bit of her gums, which was a total deal-breaker for me in TS2 and definitely a deal-breaker in TS3. Hell, I didn't even know it was possible in TS3, with the refined genetics and all. Grrrr.
Why are you wobbling? >:(
Angie - "Well, hello there! I'm just on my way to the public services office to sue for slander. There's a rumor going around saying that I was recently brought back into police custody, which is untrue. Just another day in the life, I guess!" *cheesy smile*
Yeah yeah shut up, WHY ARE YOU WOBBLING LIKE A F(*)*#@)# PREGNANT SIM?!
Angie - "BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT, OKAY?"
NO, NOT OKAY. WE AGREED ON THREE. YOUR HOUSE CAN'T HANDLE FOUR.
Angie - "Well, fine. If my pregnancy upsets you so much, there's always that handy dandy "end pregnancy" option you have."
Angie - "That's what I thought. Oh, and I lost, which means we lost 2k simoleans."
*headdesk headdesk HEADDESK*
...from now on, not only am I supervising all activities you and Beau participate in, but I'm also censoring them. No more woohoo for two weeks. Whether that's simweeks or human weeks is yet to be decided.
Angie - "But-"
No buts. Nada. Now get the fudge outta my post.
Some sim pictures to make myself feel better:
Thame, being totally awesome
and not pregnant! on her way to school.
Beau and all his perpetual awesomeness....
And on that note, I should get some sleep. Goodnight! Or morning...since it will be morning when this goes up.